Saturday, November 26, 2016

Kaiping

Our staff took a sightseeing trip to Kaiping last weekend- a UNESCO World Heritage site. Chinese who had made their fortunes in the US and Canada during the 20’s and 30’s and returned to this area of China to marry (I think) and to retire. The houses are of interest because they look like a cross between an architectural folly and a castle tower. Apparently they needed to be secure enough to protect the inhabitants from: (and I quote) marauders.




This guy would be enough to scare me off- no tower needed


The big tower above belonged to this dude and his 3 wives. 
One floor for entertaining and a level for each wife. 





A fabulous kitchen on each floor.











All connected by a spiral staircase with beautiful
scenic roof view.


At its peak Kaiping had 3000 towers. Now there are only about
1000. Only a handful are open to the public. I think the rest are still considered ancestral homes.



People still live in the area. Although I think that there live off the tourist trade. 


 It was very interesting for about 40 minutes. Unfortunately, we were there for 2 hours.

Security Issues

OK Joe. This might entertain you. I laughed until I cried.

 A short time ago I discovered these files on my phone. Apparently I unknowingly downloaded a security app that captured the image of anyone trying to access my phone with the wrong password. 

The resulting images are hilarious....






...except the last one. I don't know who the hell the woman is in the last picture, but it is super creepy. Is she sleeping in my bed??????


Friday, November 25, 2016

Storm Chips (and chocolate)

I once heard a radio story about how Halifax residents always go out and buy potato chips before a snow storm. Apparently storm chips fly off the shelves in the hours leading up to a blizzard.

We had a typhoon warning one Friday morning in October. The school was cancelled and we were allowed to go home as soon as all of the kids had been picked up- about 9 am. as it turned out.

They were predicting days of total chaos, so it everyone stopped to shop on the way home. It seems that everyone had a different idea of what constituted emergency preparedness. I work with dudes who slugged liters of Coke back to their apartments. A few of my co-workers who refuse to cook carried stacks of take-out meals from from local restaurants to heat up. I hit the corner store and the fruit stand and dragged this lot home.
Dried soy beans, snacking seaweed, milk, ramen, potato chips, yogurt drink, chips, a chocolate bar, cucumber, some form of green leaf(?) a red onion, celery and a few potatoes.

I also filled as many containers as I could find with water to flush my toilet. I have learned the hard way that the water doesn't work when the power goes off. People thought that was weird???

The chips and chocolate bar were gone before 2 pm when it was officially announced that the storm had changed direction and wouldn't hit the city after all. Oooops. 

Food Fun

Another food post. In fact, I am going to try to pound out a number of posts this weekend to amuse Joe. I hope they are amusing as they will be mostly photos from my shitty phone.

I’m not one for photographing meals- too busy eating. So these are photos are weird foods or events that made me stop and take a photo. It may be interesting to note that I became a strict vegetarian upon landing here in China.






mmmmmm. FINGER LICK'N GOOD
This little face was staring up at me all through lunch last weekend.

I have a nuber of coworkers who have given up on eating meat because of the high probability that it will be served with a recognizable face.




SHOPPING IN HONG KONG
I went shopping in Hong Kong a few weeks ago. I think people were a little surprised that my only purchases were made in a grocery store. I'm not sure what they thought that I was going to buy.

I have actually located most things on the mainland now except for lentils and bulgar. Hot chocolate, a cake mix, ginger cookies, granola bars, a measuring cup and spoons and a loaf of bread were just impulse purchases.


'TIS THE SEASON
I have a co-worker that says that you know the oranges are in season when the streets are paved with the peels. We have been walking on them for a few weeks now. 

Most are tiny little things with so many leaves on them. Some of them are basically branches with an orange attached. I LOVE them. I buy them with as many leaves as I can even though it makes them more expensive. Like 20 cents a kilo instead of 18 cents- so I guess expense is relative.


I also love the dragon fruit here. It is neon purple and dyes everything it touches neon purple. It tastes little like water melon.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

A New Initiative

Cathy is encouraging me to post more often so I have decided that I will post short notes about things that happen more regularly for those interested.

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Although I live in the Canton region of China, the primary language spoken here is Mandarin with a small percentage of Cantonese. The monkey wrench, however, is that the local pronunciation of Mandarin sounds so much like Cantonese to me I can't even determine which language people are speaking. 

Mandarin is a language with 5 tones. The same word can be pronounced 5 different ways to produce a variety of different meanings. Given my inability to even identify the sound of the language entirely, I have decided that I am not in a hurry to study it seriously.

A returning teacher has just discovered that he has actually been telling cab drivers that he is a teacher with the incorrect tone. One of our Chinese Canadian colleagues swears that he is actually saying that he “shit his pants”. His girlfriend thinks that this announcement makes the drivers drive faster.

One of the new teachers has apparently been asking the staff at the grocery store deli counter for knowledge instead of cheese. Again the words sound identical to the untrained ear. I forgot to ask him if the deli counter had any knowledge to give.



              
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Saturday, October 8, 2016

Fast Food

Last week was the three day national holiday creatively named: October Holiday. My school, and most of China, added two days on to this holiday to round it out to a full 7 days. The catch was that most of the country was then required to work the following Saturday and Sunday to make up for the time lost. Not only do we not get Canadian Thanksgiving off, we have to work a 7 day week starting Saturday.

I have been invited to a Thanksgiving pot-luck, but I am at a loss as to what to take. It has to be quick and easy because it is a work day and still be a festive addition to the holiday table. 

I found these prepared chickens at the local grocery store.  Well prepared may be a bit of an exaggeration because they are actually raw, but the feathers have been removed. The feet are tucked under the body so it will balance nicely on a platter and the head is tilted back so far it basically present itself- a sprig of parsley in its beak and voila! The fact that I don’t have an oven, however, presents a problem.



This dilemma forced me further in to the meat section of the
store to investigate some of the many convenient options in the no-cook category as well. At first things looked pretty dire: Dried squid- doesn’t scream Thanksgiving; hunks of mysterious meat-presentation a challenge.









I was surprised to find the perfect answer one aisle farther along- dried duck pucks. Duck is a traditional Thanksgiving treat! And finally, for those who don’t care for poultry, dry, flattened pig faces.  My idea is to anchor these beauties upright in mounds of garlic mashed potatoes.Pot luck contribution complete (no oven required). 
 

Friday, December 18, 2015

TOPAZ GOES TO WORK

I am finally writing another blog post because I have had a number of questions recently about my cat situation.  It is organized in chunks ending with an explanation of how the information in the paragraph answers specific questions that have been put to me over the past few weeks. I hope that this approach helps illuminate some of the more subtle details of the story.

TOPAZ GOES TO WORK:


What seemed to be a large fat and fluffy tomcat appeared on our campus just over a month ago. It was too large to be missed and the long hair was a showstopper. The orange garbage cats here are generally a mongrel version of the indigenous (really pale, super short haired) sand cat- I kid you not.  It was named Garfield by the students for obvious reasons.

The really special thing about Garfield though was that it spent most of its time strolling in and out of buildings and rubbing up against people.  It wandered in to the music room one morning, jumped up on the teacher’s lap and laid down.-This is how we knew it was a house cat. 

 It ate the meat from Amanda’s lunch and sauntered out of the room only to reappear a few minutes later with a baby in its mouth. It dropped the baby, flopped down and started nursing.  - This is how we figured out Garfield was a she. 

It must have been hiding the baby all along. It seemed like there had originally been more than one kitten.  The one living in the music room was old enough to ween and it had an infected eye.- This is how we came to believe that she and the defective baby had been given the boot and the healthy kitten was likely kept instead.

The school administration hates cats.  The strays are tolerated on the school grounds because if they clear out the existing ones, they would simply be replaced by others from the endless supply of cats in the neighbourhood.  I think the term they use in physics for this phenomenon is “net neutrality”.  I don’t actually think the principal cares about the scientific term for it.  His term for Garfield when he found her wandering around his office when he arrived back from Europe was not even remotely scientific.  He gave a 24 hour timeline for getting rid of the things.- This is how the cat rescue groups became involved.

A co-worker adopted the baby (Carson’s eye has been treated and he is fine btw).  I was promised that if I agreed to foster the mother, it would be gone before I left for the Christmas holiday.- This is how I ended up living with Cat.

I had help from a cat guy at work with the transportation and bathing of the thing.  He actually knew how to pick the screeching, spitting thing out of a mid-air spin and pin it to the bottom of the bathtub- it was impressive and very helpful.  My only jobs were to soap and rinse and to unhook the claws from the shower curtain periodically.  We then wrapped it like a mummy for drying.  I don’t think cat liked it, but I was completely traumatized. – This is how I learned that I am REALLY not a cat person.

So, the carrier was washed (she was so scared she pooed in it) and turned upside down to create a litter box. I headed to the pharmacy for flea medication and the supermarket for food and litter (which cost me as much money that evening as the majority of Egyptians earn in a week).- This is how I learned why Egyptians don’t adopt cats.

I finally got a phone call saying that there is a young Egyptian man interested in adopting Topaz- This is how I learned her name was Topaz.  I assume that a name and the Persian identification made her more attractive for Facebook posts.

Topaz began to limp and was barely able to walk within a few minutes of this news.  I was petrified that the man would change his mind if I presented him with a defective cat, so I made an appointment with a vet that makes house calls.  I could not possibly live through transporting her again. Especially not to a vet.


The vet was Amazing! He even helped me get her from under my bed- she was becoming increasingly shy as her paw got worse.  He sedated her and we treated her on the top of the washing machine.  He had to go to the pharmacy in the middle of the procedure to get an antibiotic shot.  When I asked him about why he didn’t carry that kind of thing with him, he said he did, but not one suitable for a pregnant mother- This explains why she was so fat and maybe why she has a stripper name.

He showed me how to grind up medicine and how to give her the second half of the antibiotic injection the following day.  He also advised me not to tell the dude that she was a month pregnant and asked me if I would be interested in adopting one of several small dogs he is currently trying to find homes for.

The vet also explained to me on our walk to the bank that Muslims believe that fixing an animal is not Haram because the Koran says that animals have the right to reproduce.  -This is how I learned that people are nuts.

The bill came to less than 2 weeks cat food and litter. I was so grateful I gave him almost twice that.  – This is how I learned that the vets treating my co-worker’s cats may be charging too much.

Within 24 hours of the vet visit Topaz was walking on my dining table with her swollen paw- This is how I learned that she’s not actually a laid back cat, she was just not feeling well.  I also learned that I am not getting rid of her a moment too soon.

So, my own antibiotic injection was a complete fail.  I squirted it all over her fur and she was only mildly annoyed.  The man who adopted her was going to take her directly to the vet, so presumably things will be taken care of properly by someone who isn’t a spaz.  I had hoped that it would be a few weeks before he discovered her condition, but I think the vet will spot the issue right away.- This is why I’m not answering my phone or door today.
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Apparently Topaz is going to live in an office.  The man works longer hours than the rest of the staff and spends a lot of time at work alone.  He will leave her at night when he goes home and return in the morning. –This explains how Topaz left school and went to work.