A New Initiative

Cathy is encouraging me to post more often so I have decided that I will post short notes about things that happen more regularly for those interested.

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Although I live in the Canton region of China, the primary language spoken here is Mandarin with a small percentage of Cantonese. The monkey wrench, however, is that the local pronunciation of Mandarin sounds so much like Cantonese to me I can't even determine which language people are speaking. 

Mandarin is a language with 5 tones. The same word can be pronounced 5 different ways to produce a variety of different meanings. Given my inability to even identify the sound of the language entirely, I have decided that I am not in a hurry to study it seriously.

A returning teacher has just discovered that he has actually been telling cab drivers that he is a teacher with the incorrect tone. One of our Chinese Canadian colleagues swears that he is actually saying that he “shit his pants”. His girlfriend thinks that this announcement makes the drivers drive faster.

One of the new teachers has apparently been asking the staff at the grocery store deli counter for knowledge instead of cheese. Again the words sound identical to the untrained ear. I forgot to ask him if the deli counter had any knowledge to give.

              

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Fast Food

Last week was the three day national holiday creatively named: October Holiday. My school, and most of China, added two days on to this holiday to round it out to a full 7 days. The catch was that most of the country was then required to work the following Saturday and Sunday to make up for the time lost. Not only do we not get Canadian Thanksgiving off, we have to work a 7 day week starting Saturday.

I have been invited to a Thanksgiving pot-luck, but I am at a loss as to what to take. It has to be quick and easy because it is a work day and still be a festive addition to the holiday table. 

I found these prepared chickens at the local grocery store.  Well prepared may be a bit of an exaggeration because they are actually raw, but the feathers have been removed. The feet are tucked under the body so it will balance nicely on a platter and the head is tilted back so far it basically present itself- a sprig of parsley in its beak and voila! The fact that I don’t have an oven, however, presents a problem.

This dilemma forced me further in to the meat section of the

store to investigate some of the many convenient options in the no-cook category as well. At first things looked pretty dire: Dried squid- doesn’t scream Thanksgiving; hunks of mysterious meat-presentation a challenge.

I was surprised to find the perfect answer one aisle farther along- dried duck pucks. Duck is a traditional Thanksgiving treat! And finally, for those who don’t care for poultry, dry, flattened pig faces.  My idea is to anchor these beauties upright in mounds of garlic mashed potatoes.Pot luck contribution complete (no oven required). 

 

TOPAZ GOES TO WORK

I am finally writing another blog post because I have had a number of questions recently about my cat situation.  It is organized in chunks ending with an explanation of how the information in the paragraph answers specific questions that have been put to me over the past few weeks. I hope that this approach helps illuminate some of the more subtle details of the story.

TOPAZ GOES TO WORK:

What seemed to be a large fat and fluffy tomcat appeared on our campus just over a month ago. It was too large to be missed and the long hair was a showstopper. The orange garbage cats here are generally a mongrel version of the indigenous (really pale, super short haired) sand cat- I kid you not.  It was named Garfield by the students for obvious reasons.

The really special thing about Garfield though was that it spent most of its time strolling in and out of buildings and rubbing up against people.  It wandered in to the music room one morning, jumped up on the teacher’s lap and laid down.-This is how we knew it was a house cat. 

 It ate the meat from Amanda’s lunch and sauntered out of the room only to reappear a few minutes later with a baby in its mouth. It dropped the baby, flopped down and started nursing.  - This is how we figured out Garfield was a she. 

It must have been hiding the baby all along. It seemed like there had originally been more than one kitten.  The one living in the music room was old enough to ween and it had an infected eye.- This is how we came to believe that she and the defective baby had been given the boot and the healthy kitten was likely kept instead.

The school administration hates cats.  The strays are tolerated on the school grounds because if they clear out the existing ones, they would simply be replaced by others from the endless supply of cats in the neighbourhood.  I think the term they use in physics for this phenomenon is “net neutrality”.  I don’t actually think the principal cares about the scientific term for it.  His term for Garfield when he found her wandering around his office when he arrived back from Europe was not even remotely scientific.  He gave a 24 hour timeline for getting rid of the things.- This is how the cat rescue groups became involved.

A co-worker adopted the baby (Carson’s eye has been treated and he is fine btw).  I was promised that if I agreed to foster the mother, it would be gone before I left for the Christmas holiday.- This is how I ended up living with Cat.

I had help from a cat guy at work with the transportation and bathing of the thing.  He actually knew how to pick the screeching, spitting thing out of a mid-air spin and pin it to the bottom of the bathtub- it was impressive and very helpful.  My only jobs were to soap and rinse and to unhook the claws from the shower curtain periodically.  We then wrapped it like a mummy for drying.  I don’t think cat liked it, but I was completely traumatized. – This is how I learned that I am REALLY not a cat person.

So, the carrier was washed (she was so scared she pooed in it) and turned upside down to create a litter box. I headed to the pharmacy for flea medication and the supermarket for food and litter (which cost me as much money that evening as the majority of Egyptians earn in a week).- This is how I learned why Egyptians don’t adopt cats.

I finally got a phone call saying that there is a young Egyptian man interested in adopting Topaz- This is how I learned her name was Topaz.  I assume that a name and the Persian identification made her more attractive for Facebook posts.

Topaz began to limp and was barely able to walk within a few minutes of this news.  I was petrified that the man would change his mind if I presented him with a defective cat, so I made an appointment with a vet that makes house calls.  I could not possibly live through transporting her again. Especially not to a vet.

The vet was Amazing! He even helped me get her from under my bed- she was becoming increasingly shy as her paw got worse.  He sedated her and we treated her on the top of the washing machine.  He had to go to the pharmacy in the middle of the procedure to get an antibiotic shot.  When I asked him about why he didn’t carry that kind of thing with him, he said he did, but not one suitable for a pregnant mother- This explains why she was so fat and maybe why she has a stripper name.

He showed me how to grind up medicine and how to give her the second half of the antibiotic injection the following day.  He also advised me not to tell the dude that she was a month pregnant and asked me if I would be interested in adopting one of several small dogs he is currently trying to find homes for.

The vet also explained to me on our walk to the bank that Muslims believe that fixing an animal is not Haram because the Koran says that animals have the right to reproduce.  -This is how I learned that people are nuts.

The bill came to less than 2 weeks cat food and litter. I was so grateful I gave him almost twice that.  – This is how I learned that the vets treating my co-worker’s cats may be charging too much.

Within 24 hours of the vet visit Topaz was walking on my dining table with her swollen paw- This is how I learned that she’s not actually a laid back cat, she was just not feeling well.  I also learned that I am not getting rid of her a moment too soon.

So, my own antibiotic injection was a complete fail.  I squirted it all over her fur and she was only mildly annoyed.  The man who adopted her was going to take her directly to the vet, so presumably things will be taken care of properly by someone who isn’t a spaz.  I had hoped that it would be a few weeks before he discovered her condition, but I think the vet will spot the issue right away.- This is why I’m not answering my phone or door today.

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Apparently Topaz is going to live in an office.  The man works longer hours than the rest of the staff and spends a lot of time at work alone.  He will leave her at night when he goes home and return in the morning. –This explains how Topaz left school and went to work.

the weather report

The weather has finally cooled and we have had rain at least twice in the past month (That would be the only rain since I arrived for those of you keeping track). It has been pointed out to me that the change is not so much a temperature drop as it is a drop in humidity. This is an important detail.  

On Tuesday I decided to wear a tank top and a summer cardigan when the weather report showed the daily high was to be a balmy 27. A coworker on the tram that morning used her phone to confirm the humidity in the city was 98%. I think that's what she said.  It was difficult to focus on what she was saying because I was in the process of dying of heat exhaustion at the time.

I can assure you-any humidity over 95% blurs the line between walking and swimming.  I keep thinking that the daily commute may have the same slimming impact as a session of water aerobics. I eat cake for dinner at least twice a week, so I will never know. 

Unfortunately, social conventions here prevent me from wearing a bathing suit on my morning commute. I keep trying to imagine what it would be like to be married to me if I was required to wear a black face-covering polyester tent, stockings and gloves in this climate like many of the women on the tram. I think my husband would live in fear. Even now I worry about the safety of the next Egyptian who tells me that Alexandria is a perfect destination for summer tourists because the weather is so fine.

This dude is looking smug because he knows enough to live in the dry heat of Cairo.

Apparently I will be complaining about the damp cold by Christmas, so you will have that to look forward to while you tunnel your way to the car.

Eid al-Adha

According to Wikipedia, Eid al-Adha is a 4 day festival in which Muslims honor the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son.  Individual families,including urban families, do this by killing an animal and dividing the meat into three parts: one third goes to the family, one third is given to relatives, friends and neighbours; and the remaining third is given to the needy (apparently some people need hunks of sheep).

There are A LOT of families in Egypt.  As a result, the number of animals in the city increased dramatically over the last weeks leading up to the Eid holiday.  Parking lots, the basements of buildings under construction and the occasional sidewalk were all used as temporary corrals for sheep, goats, and the odd head of cattle.  A friend even spotted a delicious looking camel one neighbourhood over. The build up continued until the livestock-to-street-cat ratio was surprisingly even by Tuesday.  Trust me-Christmas tree sales are small potatoes compared to this and there are no artificial animals to be purchased at Home Depot.

A building under construction in my neighbourhood.
My balcony is too small to house the goat on the far right BTW
-I did consider it.

Friends and I were caught trying to snap a secret phone camera photo one night of a sheep stall in our upper class neighbourhood.  We must have looked like we were inspecting the sheep and discussing finances to the urban shepherd boys who asked us if we needed assistance.  I am sure they could not speak enough English to be reassured by the fact that we claimed to be still in the browsing phase. 

The stories about how Thursday's mass slaughter would fill the streets with rivers of blood made the holiday seem like an excellent opportunity to get out of town.  The same group of friends and I decided to go to Cairo for a few days as an alternative to purchasing a dirty and irritated looking farm animal. 

The one obvious flaw in the plan was that the holiday takes place in Cairo too.  Although we spent most of the main feast day in a blood and guts free hotel, we did in fact end up wandering through a local market in the Islamic part of the city.  It was basically closed for business and most of the butchering had been completed by the time we arrived in late afternoon.  The streets were dotted with pools of blood, but it certainly the scene fell short of the description. Several cow heads, a few hunks of fly covered bits, young boys in blood stained t-shitrts, older boys riding mopeds dragging sheep skins behind were the only celebration to be seen.  I have heard reports that the sidewalks in our neighbourhood had seep brain piles every 50 feet or so.  This apparently made the walk to the supermarket more exciting than usual. Even if this is also an exaggeration, I suspect that we got off easy. 

Always a bride's maid....still unclaimed on Friday afternoon.

CATastrophy

So I am cat sitting a co-worker’s aging childhood pet for a few days while she is out of town.  Cleopatra and I were not exactly bonding as she was shy, sleepy and a little off her food.  The second important detail is that the apartment door doesn’t seem to close securely- the wood securing the original deadbolt has been removed giving the sense that the door is never completely shut. 

I was on the fly yesterday afternoon when I opened the door to find a white cat in the hallway.  At first I was a little shocked and then annoyed.  I scooped the indignant and equally surprised animal up and threw it in to the apartment and locked the door.  Although it did cross my mind that this might in fact be “Not Cleopatra”, I dismissed the idea quickly.  I mean there are a LOT of street cats in Alexandria, but what were the chances really.

When I returned to the apartment several hours later I was greeted by an usually alert and affectionate cat clearly obsessed with something under the dining room hutch. Eventually, I got down on my stomach and peered under the hutch; a position that put me eye-to-eye with a second, almost identical, white cat. 

It seemed that I had a case of mistaken cat identity on my hands.  To put it another way- abruptly, without my knowing it, my life had become the plot of a P.G. Woodhouse novel.  I spent the next 40 minutes pretending to watch TV while trying to work out which of the two was the real Cleopatra and which was the imposter: a difficult task given the fact that I had very little contact with the real deal and the cat that I suspected was the genuine article was acting unusually lucid and friendly.

I finally used a lifeline and called a friend.  I had her cross reference my description and a few blurry shots of the likely Cleo with photos from the owner’s Facebook page (see photo).  The loser of this contest got kicked back out into the hall.

Now I am 100%....well, 90% sure that the very hungry and affectionate (not to mention lucid) cat that remains in the apartment is the correct animal.  My only nagging concern is that the two had adult cat relations when they were alone together for the afternoon.  Can an elderly house cat get pregnant? A completely ridiculous thought, but not beyond the realm of possibility in the context of a drama about mistaken cat identity. 

I am not sure how I would explain an unexpected pregnancy to the owner, but I can’t worry about that at the moment.  For now I am trying to remain focused on what to say to this woman if I made the wrong choice in the 50/50 cat selection process.

Fingers crossed. 

creature feature

I think this is a ferret

So I have been researching the difference between pole cats and ferrets in an attempt to identify the the long black creatures that slink around the perimeter of the school yard and under cars parked on the streets.  I have a Canadian coworker who has spotted one on her balcony on multiple occasions. She has not been taken by the same zoological curiosity immediately deciding that regardless of the species or genus of the thing, it is definitely from a family of animals that would be difficult to evict once inside your apartment. She sleeps in the heat with her shutters firmly closed.

This guy is eating breakfast on the corner
every morning when I am heading to work.

Apart from these creepy little suckers there is very little variety to the wild life here.  Feral cats, wild dogs, feral cats, pigeons, feral cats and a bird that Wikipedia informs me is a kingfisher- although much more shy and ugly than its Indian cousin. I have tried unsuccessfully to take its picture on my walk to work in the morning.  It seems that it really is true that nobody in this country wants their picture taken.

The most interesting selection of animals to be found is actually in the market. These critters are not wild.  In fact, it is unclear why they never think to make a break for it. The animals purchased by foreigners as pets last year, on the other hand, all inexplicably disappeared during weekends and holidays.  The local hire staff responsible for caring for them also claimed to be bewildered by the mystery. The sensory garden is pet free this year.

Perhaps avoiding eye contact is an actual strategy.

There are also chicken, ducks and turkeys.